11.08pm on 31st December 2015;
As usual, I'm here to write up an introspective post on the happenings that had occurred throughout the year.
As I was searching in my phone gallery for some pictures which could act as very defining visuals about my life, I found out there were very few to offer. It had been a big contrast compared to other years.
As usual, I'm here to write up an introspective post on the happenings that had occurred throughout the year.
As I was searching in my phone gallery for some pictures which could act as very defining visuals about my life, I found out there were very few to offer. It had been a big contrast compared to other years.
Year 2015 had been the hardest year for me in my life as I was in great sorrow in the passing away of sweetheart. Yes, it had been one year ever since he was gone; but he had never been gone in my heart every single day of my life. I still feel heartbroken and I constantly sorrowed over our dreams unfulfilled. Sometimes I still daydream about the things I could possibly do with him, only to be reminded that he wasn't there. I was only 22 and I had no reason to live.
One of the overarching question through my sorrow was, "Why did God take Kal and not me?" I felt sweetheart had so much more to offer the world than I did. The way he treats everyone. His innocence. His everything.
I desperately sought to find out the new meaning of my life. I had never thought I had been living solely due to his presence for so long, which explained why I wasn't able to get over as easily as everyone could think I would.
I desperately sought to find out the new meaning of my life. I had never thought I had been living solely due to his presence for so long, which explained why I wasn't able to get over as easily as everyone could think I would.
I'll like to dedicate a short excerpt to sweetheart here as the new year is approaching, and here it goes:
Dear sweetheart,
I would like to apologise to you for doing some really foolish things. I did them when my senses weren't at the right state.
I wish and I really hope you are doing well over there. Remember I'm always here wishing the best for you and sending my warmest regards from the deepest of my heart.
Dear sweetheart,
I would like to apologise to you for doing some really foolish things. I did them when my senses weren't at the right state.
I wish and I really hope you are doing well over there. Remember I'm always here wishing the best for you and sending my warmest regards from the deepest of my heart.
I've been in constant touch with your twin, Mimi and we had been healing together with each other's help.
I'm thankful you sent an angel to help me get on with these difficult times. Your family had been doing well and I'm sure they miss you as much as how much I do.
Please be happy over there. When the right time comes, we will meet again. I love you sweetheart.
I'm thankful you sent an angel to help me get on with these difficult times. Your family had been doing well and I'm sure they miss you as much as how much I do.
Please be happy over there. When the right time comes, we will meet again. I love you sweetheart.
Back to the main post.
I'll like to post some of the major events in my life during 2015.
1. Gotten my 2B license for bike riding!
(As shown in the picture above, that is my precious baby Honda PCX that I had gotten after I passed my lic)
I remembered being so frustrated over the riding lessons at CDC because all the needed preparations towards getting the license were so demanding. I failed at my first attempt in my practical exam.
But thankfully, I passed in my second practical exam!
I'm proud to say I'm a motorcycle rider ever since then! Haha. And I've been receiving many remarks from people that the fact I ride a motorcycle is such a cool thing which makes my heart flutter even until now. Maybe I should take pictures with my baby Honda PCX like those models posing with motorcycles sometimes :P
But I bet I won't look cool like those models EEK. >:(
I'm proud to say I'm a motorcycle rider ever since then! Haha. And I've been receiving many remarks from people that the fact I ride a motorcycle is such a cool thing which makes my heart flutter even until now. Maybe I should take pictures with my baby Honda PCX like those models posing with motorcycles sometimes :P
But I bet I won't look cool like those models EEK. >:(
2. I had bought a HDB flat and renovated it and moved in and lived comfortably ever since!
The HDB flat I bought was a really compact 2 room flat that comprises a bedroom, a living room, a toilet, a kitchen and a bomb shelter. It might be small to many people but it was more than enough since I'm living by myself.
For the past 4 years that I had been working as tuition teacher and staying in rented rooms in the outside market, I finally finally get to have my own shelter.
FINALLY!
The HDB flat I bought was a really compact 2 room flat that comprises a bedroom, a living room, a toilet, a kitchen and a bomb shelter. It might be small to many people but it was more than enough since I'm living by myself.
For the past 4 years that I had been working as tuition teacher and staying in rented rooms in the outside market, I finally finally get to have my own shelter.
FINALLY!
And I can't describe how glad I was. It was tough living with strangers in a house as there would inevitably be disagreements or conflicts here and there.
I'm also proud to say I have settled the arduous process of renovation, selecting and purchasing furnishings, electrical appliances. It really wasn't an enjoyable process ya. The fact that there are an overwhelming variety of products and ways to doing certain thing makes decisions hard to make since we all always want the best.
I'm also proud to say I have settled the arduous process of renovation, selecting and purchasing furnishings, electrical appliances. It really wasn't an enjoyable process ya. The fact that there are an overwhelming variety of products and ways to doing certain thing makes decisions hard to make since we all always want the best.
Those days before I had gotten the keys for my HDB flat were the better times as I could indulge in daydreaming what kind of house I wanted. But daydreaming and reality was starkingly different! So yeah.... I couldn't do up my home as how i literally dreamed it should look like..
But! I'm still pretty pleased and contented with my little home now. Being at home is something I enjoy a lot now because it is so comfortable. :)
3. I'm still continuing my tuition career and it has been going well.
But! I'm still pretty pleased and contented with my little home now. Being at home is something I enjoy a lot now because it is so comfortable. :)
3. I'm still continuing my tuition career and it has been going well.
I love my students (most of them) and the parents!
4. Started school in NUS.
Had been the toughest time handling school and work at the same time but at the end of it all, I'm proud to look back and see how far I have come and managed to survive them.
I'm really enjoying what I'm learning in school and days in school were always filled with anticipation. (And weariness most of the times also sadly) I'm glad I chose to follow my heart when I was making my choice for university.
4. Started school in NUS.
Had been the toughest time handling school and work at the same time but at the end of it all, I'm proud to look back and see how far I have come and managed to survive them.
I'm really enjoying what I'm learning in school and days in school were always filled with anticipation. (And weariness most of the times also sadly) I'm glad I chose to follow my heart when I was making my choice for university.
One of the proudest moments was when I heard Miss Cardoza announcing (in turnitin voice record) that I garnered the highest marks for persuasive speech across the entire cohort (600++ people) and that really makes me felt like all the hardwork in the preparation of speech really paid off. (Yay!)
I was so happy about it that i repeated the voice record for hours like a crazy girl there. Haha.
This little achievement made me felt like I could be a superwoman and really achieve anything as long as I work hard for it.
I was so happy about it that i repeated the voice record for hours like a crazy girl there. Haha.
This little achievement made me felt like I could be a superwoman and really achieve anything as long as I work hard for it.
I was very disillusioned when I first came back to school as I began to feel the competition for good grades among my peers. It made me feel very stressed out and constantly having worries in the beginning. But thankfully, I read a book titled "The Happy Student" by Daniel Wong and it had changed my perspective entirely. If you are a student who is reading this now (no matter how old you are), I highly recommend you do give this book a try - you won't regret it.
After reading the book, I pledged to run my own race from then on; and to run my own race means that there's only one participant: myself.
After reading the book, I pledged to run my own race from then on; and to run my own race means that there's only one participant: myself.
The price awaiting me at the end of the race isn't the approval of my friends, my family or society; but my legacy and my character.
Never to compare myself with anyone else because I am not racing with them but for myself. I have to always keep in mind that the race isn't about winning or losing. But about what I'm learning and who I am becoming along the way.
Never to compare myself with anyone else because I am not racing with them but for myself. I have to always keep in mind that the race isn't about winning or losing. But about what I'm learning and who I am becoming along the way.
5. A different Boon May
It's true that a life death experience can change someone totally. I've come to realise truly how short life is and how important my family members are to me. And that changed my attitude in many ways. It was no wonder Daniel Wong (author of Happy Student) had advised his readers to draft out one's life sentence (final destination) apart from personal mission statements and others.
It's true that a life death experience can change someone totally. I've come to realise truly how short life is and how important my family members are to me. And that changed my attitude in many ways. It was no wonder Daniel Wong (author of Happy Student) had advised his readers to draft out one's life sentence (final destination) apart from personal mission statements and others.
Life sentence is a statement of yourself, a statement that will appear as an eulogy when you have passed away. As morbid as it sounds, this idea deeply resonates with me after sweetheart's passing.
I was glad that all the people remembered fondly of him.
As much as we humans like to deny death, death is an inevitable reality that will mark the end of all of our journeys.
I was glad that all the people remembered fondly of him.
As much as we humans like to deny death, death is an inevitable reality that will mark the end of all of our journeys.
So...
It is 2016 now!
All I want is to focus on living well.
Doing things that I should be doing.
And constantly seek to improve on myself.
After all, 人的一生就是一直不断地学习怎么做人。 学习做人是一辈子的事, 不是吗?
And above all, I wish for good health of my family members, friends and myself ;)
Happy new year to whoever is reading this :)
It is 2016 now!
All I want is to focus on living well.
Doing things that I should be doing.
And constantly seek to improve on myself.
After all, 人的一生就是一直不断地学习怎么做人。 学习做人是一辈子的事, 不是吗?
And above all, I wish for good health of my family members, friends and myself ;)
Happy new year to whoever is reading this :)
